Writing to the Recipient
Connecting to the recipient of your loved one’s gift
As a donor family, you may decide to write a letter to the recipients of your loved one’s organs.
This is a personal decision, and you should not feel any pressure to act in one way or another.
Sometimes, donor families choose to write to recipients to share information about their loved one and the decision to donate. For some families, sharing helps in the grieving process. All correspondence is anonymous, and identities are kept confidential. There is no time limit for sending a letter, and you may write at any time. Many choose to send a letter during the holidays, an anniversary card, or a “Thinking of You” card. Sometimes the hardest part is writing those first few words. If you want to write, but are having trouble or need more information about writing to recipients, please call our office at 405-840-5551 or reach out by email at lifeshare-aftercare@lifeshareok.org.
If you decide to write, here are some suggestions and guidelines:
Provide general information
Only information you are comfortable with sharing about yourself and your loved one.
Occupation, hobbies, interests, or special things your loved one enjoyed. First names are welcome.
Please do not share last names, geographic locations, phone numbers, email addresses, social media pages, hospital names, physicians that helped you, etc. Due to LifeShare’s confidentiality policy, this information will be omitted if included in any letters.
How you made the decision
You may want to briefly explain the circumstances that led to your loved one becoming a donor and how you made the decision to donate. You can also include how this gift has impacted you, your family, and community.
Other things to consider
Use simple language.
Be thoughtful when using spiritual comments since the religion of the recipient is unknown.
Conclude your letter
Sign your first name only.
Do not reveal your address, city, email or phone number.
Do not reveal the name or location o the hospital where the donation took place.
Prepare to send your letter
Place the letter or card in an unsealed envelope within the mailing envelope.
Include a separate sheet of paper with your loved one's full name, date of donation, your full name and contact information, and which recipients should receive the letter or card.
Mail your correspondence
LifeShare
Attn: Aftercare
4705 NW Expressway
Oklahoma City, OK 73132
Save time, submit your letter online with your smartphone, just scan the QR code.
Once your correspondence is received, it will be reviewed by an Aftercare Coordinator to ensure confidentiality. It will then be forwarded to the recipient’s transplant center, reviewed by their social worker, and forwarded to the recipient. Although we strive to complete this task quickly, this entire process may take several weeks before the letter reaches the recipient.
Will I hear from the recipients?
Keep in mind some recipients may send a response to your letter while others may not write back. This is their personal decision that could be made for various reasons. Many recipients state they feel overwhelmed with emotion and have difficulty expressing their gratitude in a letter, while others are continuing to heal and adjust to their new lives as transplant recipients. Most recipients have said that writing to their donor family is the most difficult thing they have ever done. Even if you never receive a letter, we hope you will take comfort in knowing that your loved one’s gift has helped others.
Will I ever be able to meet the transplant recipients?
Contact between donor family members and recipients and their families has been reported to be a fulfilling experience for all parties. However, before initiating such contact, both the donor family and the recipient should take time to explore their feelings regarding direct contact.
LifeShare will only allow direct, unedited communication between the donor family and recipient following an initial letter where both parties express a desire.
Share Your Story
The gift of organ and tissue donation can change someone’s life and rewrite their story. Every story has the potential to save a life. Will you share yours?
Every story shared on LifeShare’s website, social media and traditional media helps us make a difference by encouraging individuals to register as organ and tissue donors. Your experience is unique and powerful and can inspire people to say “yes” to organ and tissue donation.
We work tirelessly to give more than 100,000 waiting for a lifesaving transplant a second chance at life.